To begin, the term break was disastrously unproductive. I did not move beyond a page in the writing and editing work I had scheduled. Rather did I read much. But there were more revelations. I found that I’ve lost the ability to be sane in solitude. I’ve temporarily lost the ability to enjoy being. All along, I looked for distractions through videos, social media, or people. With too many things to do, there was a dread of not doing anything at all and being without hope in general. And then, when I come across people on social media or books, who are like what I dream to be, a moment of poignancy sets in.
On the brighter side, I got a couple of days of good work and caring for team members, a couple of memorable outings with my close friends, and some warm moments of companionship with my flatmates. The holiday also helped me understand, I believe, what I should prioritize in life.
. . .
As I step into the final term of b-school, it is a moment to stop and gather my thoughts. What do I look forward to in this final term at b-school? As I picked my courses for the term, I decided to focus on the wider and higher aspects of career and life. Thus, my choices of courses in Leadership Development, Management Lessons from Bhagvat Gita, Entrepreneurship. My other three courses were also explorative – ‘Customer Relationship Management’, ‘Behavioral Finance’, and ‘IT & Business Innovation.’ In addition, I’m also hoping to gatecrash a course on Corporate Governance.
My focus is to learn as much as possible from the coursework. I wish that I develop a life-long muse for a couple of the above subjects. In the same measure, I also want to do worthy projects in a couple of the above subjects.
It is also a moment of emotions and nostalgia for me. The ritual of cracking open a new case every day, be imported to a new place and new role, and be caught in a decision dilemma, will soon come to an end. The cold calls, the case discussions, the ‘aha’ moments in class, and the team presentations too. Now that I realize that only a little of this experience left, I want to savor it with more attention as one would relish the last few bites of one’s favorite meal.
I must confess that a certain amount of fatigue had set in the previous term. On more occasions than I’d like, I was not enthusiastic about what I was learning. There could be multiple reasons – the kind of subjects, professors, other pressures, etc., But in this last term, I hope to recover that curiosity and the delight in learning.
On a more crucial note, I also understand that I must use this time to develop greater self-belief, and also believe in the hopes I have for myself and the world around me.
These final moments are important. My experience of these last couple of months will shape my memory of my twenty months at b-school. I want to chew and savor every bite of this last term.